These five years are neither long nor short. Looking back, it feels like an endless chase after something elusive. Perhaps it was money, or the feeling that I had found a purpose in life. Now, standing here, I suddenly realize a truth: some paths, once traveled and looked back upon, reveal how lost I've become. Five years ago, I left my hometown with beautiful aspirations and unease for the future, entering the vortex of a gray industry. Back then, I had a simple goal: to make money and live an extraordinary life. Naively, I didn't realize that I was actually taking a detour, and a long one at that. In the early years, my world seemed to become brighter, and I indeed made money. Each year, I earned much more than my peers, sometimes hundreds of thousands, sometimes millions. Those days were glorious; smoking 1916, dining lavishly, constantly shuttling between casinos and clubs, receiving envious glances from many friends. That sense of satisfaction was truly addictive—it felt like I had found the meaning of life. However, as time passed, I began to feel numb. The once dazzling halo gradually became elusive. The ways to make money became increasingly unstable, and the risks grew. Although outwardly I still lived a glamorous life, I never felt truly secure. The anxiety of "earning today, what about tomorrow?" slowly eroded all my enthusiasm. Then, money started to matter less. I thought earning money would lead to a stable life, but I found myself becoming more restless. Every time I made money, I couldn't help but spend it. Casinos, clubs, parties... those brief pleasures, though momentarily forgetting everything, could never fill the emptiness inside. As days passed, I lived without direction. I indulged in pleasures, in momentary satisfaction, but neglected my true inner needs. Until one day, I realized that the money I had earned was almost completely spent. Five years slipped away in this vain chase, leaving only a deep sense of emptiness. Standing today, looking back at everything, I feel immense regret and confusion. Those things I once thought would bring happiness were merely fleeting; the truly worthwhile pursuits had been long ignored by me. I know now that money can't solve everything, nor can it bring real security. The momentary satisfaction is just temporary; it can't fill the real needs and voids inside. Often, we chase external things, yet overlook what we truly desire. Money became a transition in my life, even a trap that led me astray. Now, I finally understand that the meaning of life is not about how much you earn, but how you choose to live. It's time to stop, reflect on my choices and the way I live. No matter what, I hope to find the real me again, to live a more grounded, content life. Five years, I made money, but I also lost a lot. I hope to learn from this experience and move towards a more aware and stable future. Goodbye to my brothers in Southeast Asia!